Warm weather is my best friend. My kids and I agree that sunshine and popsicles make for an excellent afternoon, and so after school we hit the backyard. For me the best thing about spring and summer is the footwear, in that I don’t have to wear any. While I love me a stylish pair of sandals, grass beneath my toes makes me a happy woman.
Naturally when I slip off my shoes my children ask me if they can do the same. Now, between you and me, I want them to be barefoot. I know how great it feels and I want to share all great things with them – especially the great things that are free. But last summer I stepped on something with a large stinger and wound up in the Emergency Room with a nasty looking foot. I may not have learned my lesson, but I suppose I should try and teach my children from my mistakes. So I ask them to keep their shoes on.
My kids are generally well behaved, but I still spend a lot of effort getting them to listen to me. So here is a strange instance where I actually hope they will disregard my overly cautious advice, take off the shoes and run through the grass with wild abandon. Wild is the best kind of abandon – that’s just fact.
My mommy instinct is to protect my kids, but when making my own non-crucial choices I tend to err on the side of fun and impulse. This combination leads me to multiple scenarios where I tell my kids to do one thing in order that they stay safe and healthy, but secretly hope that they will do the opposite so that they learn to live a little and enjoy the moment. I call this the Do As I Do, Not As I Say principle.
I warn my kids not to too much eat raw cookie dough. I have heard of salmonella, so I do my due diligence. But I think raw cookie dough is a gift from the heavens (a modern day manna, if you will) so I don’t hide it when I lick some wayward dough off my fingers, and I purposely leave some extra in the bowl when it’s time for my helpers to ‘clean’ it. Call me a hypocrite or a sender of mixed messages, but I prefer you just call me a devoted student of the school of Do As I Do, Not As I Say. Just don’t call me late for cookies.
At bedtime I ask them not to read in the dark. It’s not good for their eyes, and they need their sleep. But staying up late for clandestine reading is a rite of passage that I want them to experience. Anyway, I have insider information on their genetics and they are all going to need glasses, so might as well enjoy the ride and finish that next chapter like I am sure to do later tonight.
I tell my kids not to talk to strangers. Obviously that’s what you teach children in this day and age. But I happen to really like talking to strangers – they can be funny and friendly and surprisingly un-creepy. I hope my kids will grow up to be the kind of people who are confident enough to talk to anyone, say, the person sitting next to them in the optometrist’s office or the salmonella detox unit. So for now I will warn them of stranger danger, but I hope later on they will do as I do and not as I said.
I do not let my kids eat ice cream for breakfast. ‘Science’ says they need something more wholesome to maximize their brain power and energy for the day ahead. But evidence from my longitudinal research sample of one strongly suggests that on the most challenging of mornings the chemical makeup of ice cream is perfectly suited for dragging one out of her funk. So when I say ‘of course you can’t have ice cream for breakfast’, what I mean is ‘ice cream is the breakfast of champions, and when you are not so small and impressionable I say go ahead. But no sprinkles. Sprinkles are not for breakfast’. Sometimes I worry that I’m too strict.
And there you have it, my prescription for raising happy children: Break the rules and go barefoot, lick the bowl, read in the dark, and eat ice cream with any kind of abandon you choose. Do as I do, not as I say. If only I could get my kids to stop listening to me.
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