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With less than 30 days to my daughter’s Bat Mitzvah, I’ve been watching an interesting phenomenon unfold – that of the RSVP. While we have had 4 brits for our 4 boys and a Simchat Bat when our daughter was born, this is our first “grown up” simcha. As a self-professed “Type A” personality, I have had a Bat Mitzvah notebook for months. It is full of list upon list of things to do. And, for the most part, I’ve been doing them. Caterer, invitations, music, photographer – all things that I can check off my list. And with the invitations out in the mail, I’ve been excited to start tracking those RSVPs. Only, there’s nothing to track because no one has RSVPed (well, that’s not entirely accurate, 5 people have. C’mon people!?!?).

Etiquette borrowed from 18th century France, asks us to répondez s’il vous plait, respond please. But, even if Emily Post tells us it’s a must, we simply do not.

Before I get all morally righteous and indignant I will confess here (notice I’ve tried to bury my confession in the third paragraph of my rant) that I never RSVP. Never. But I thought I was the delinquent minority. In fact, I have spent not an insignificant portion of my adult life feeling badly every time the phone rings as though I were the only one to have received an invitation, stuck it on my fridge where it promptly got buried under mediocre (and that’s generous) finger paintings and forgotten. Yet I stand in esteemed company with my friends, family, colleagues and neighbors.

I’m glad this isn’t some cosmic payback moment where my entire world unites to leave me RSVP-less. I’m happy to join the ranks of the bewildered invitation giver. And, ultimately, I’m looking forward to a great night, with great friends celebrating a great kid.